redrose66 / June 9, 2015 / Family
It seems to me that kids are a bit defiant when it comes to following what they are told not to do, such as “Don’t Touch” that or “Leave that alone” or “Please behave”.
If you were to just let a child touch something and watch what happens the child is either intimidated by it or is more prone to be cautious about touching the item, (in most cases). The problem is we as born protectors feel the obligation to caution them as to prevent injury or harm.
Is it a flaw on our part? This is a possibility, because my parents upon my rearing weren’t around as often as I was with mine. My parents had the tendency to send us kids outside to play while the adults stayed inside in the cool air conditioned comfort of the home conversing with one another unknowing what mischief we were encountering on the outside of the home.
It was like a trial and error with us as kids. We had to decide if the uncertainty was worth risking or if the gamble was too high! For instance, my brother would climb up on our three-story duplex home in Pennsylvania and would jump down into either the pile of leaves in the autumn we gathered collectively in a large pile or the mountain of snow in the winter that we heaped together. I debated on whether to attempt the jump. Well, I was in like 3rd grade and since I always tried fitting in, I decided it was worth the risk. I was terrified, don’t misunderstand that, however, I felt the need so I took the plunge, successfully if I may add?
Looking back now, little did I realize at that time I could have actually broken my neck, a limb, or even become paralyzed for taking that plunge. But, then again, I had no adult supervision hence I took the chance in the hopes that it would be fun. Thankfully in this case it was a success story.
Not all decisions are wise choices. Even when parents or supervisors warn against certain things and since children are so stubborn, they feel the necessity to do it regardless. Like when our parents told us not to play with sticks, and we played with sticks as stubborn mules. Then my sister and cousin began sword fighting and as an end result she wound up with a punctured eye and was rushed in to visit the doctors in an emergency room.
Or when our parents advised us, more like instructed us, not to go outside and play without our shoes and we still did it, namely me, leaving me with a memory and a scar of this particular incident. It happened like this: One time when I went outside playing on the slanted cellar door, jumping off with my sister & “partner in crime” I landed on a half broken erectly standing Coca-Cola bottle that slithered into the arch of my foot leaving me with three internal stitches and six outer stitches and nearly severing my artery.
How about don’t touch the red button? If someone put a red button in front of you and left note saying “don’t touch the red button”. Would you touch the red button or leave it alone? Well, I would probably be the defiant one and touch it for no other reason than just because I was instructed not to and it looked interesting. It’s sad but more than likely true. I have my weak moments. Don’t laugh, just kidding.
Okay now consider a small child with a bowl of candy on a table in plain view and it appears nobody is watching them. Do you think that even though his parent told him or her not to touch or eat the candy that they will abide? How bout not! The majority of the children are so tempted that (they are just like me), they would more than likely snag the candy, open it, and shove it in their mouth before the parent would notice. Well, until he or she choked on it, that which would probably be the reason for the parent’s restriction in the first place in order to prevent the inevitable from occurring.
What about keeping their hands to themselves or behaving? Do you think it’s an easy task for a child to remain still and keep to themselves when there is so much temptation out there teasing them, taunting them, and egging them on in their own little thoughts of deception? Like at a meeting place, restaurant, or a church like atmosphere where it’s required for a child to be on their best behavior because they are in the public eye. Yet they find reasons to play or do things they wouldn’t normally do, thinking that the parent isn’t paying full attention to them and they might be able to get away with doing something out of their range of normality.
Why the need to feel like being defiant? I look at it like this. It’s easy to do something bad or deceptive, but it takes extra efforts of restraint to do the right thing or to do something good. This is my thought for reasons why children and people in general choose to what is bad or wrong over what is good or right.
What are your thoughts? Feel free to comment, but please try to keep things kind and uplifting.
Copyright © 2015 by Josephine Rojas. All rights reserved.
onceuponatimeinmysecretworld 