redrose66 / July 8, 2015 / Family / Encouragement
I am a mother of three beautiful children of whom I am very proud to share wonderful memories with and a step-mother of two shy children I rarely get the opportunity to share many memories with but remain hopeful.
I am a Free-lance writer who has yet to publish a single book as of today but have ambition and patience to anticipate the proper opportunity to precede success in the near future. (hehe)
I love my blog because it allows me the opportunity to write whatever I so choose and have no limitations yet feel free to be able to express myself and get some things out there for others to read so they can see that they’re not alone in the world and there are other people with the same issues and therefore there are solutions and positive outcomes available to each and every incident as long as you have a breath to breathe.
I love children and enjoy spending time with my grandchildren as well as my great-nieces and nephews, when time allots, as we create crafts and laughs together.
I enjoy making people laugh and seeing the joy in the eyes of all individuals I encounter whether they are geriatrics, middle aged, teenagers, school aged, toddlers, or babies I make no discrimination’s and that includes gender, race, and/or religion. I look at people as individuals and try to see where I can help. If I am unable to help I at least try to leave them with something positive to ponder on or say something silly to leave them with a smile on their faces.
I have been known as the ‘life of the party’ when I arrive because I am very outgoing and a bit goofy with the way I express myself. I am sometimes a naughty joke teller and I can pop a shot or two and hold my own if you catch my drift.
I have the type of personality that normally blends with others possibly due to the fact that I am one that listens first to try to get a better understanding of the other person prior to my immediate response plus I choose my words carefully as not to upset or step on someone’s toes. I often aim to please to try and comfort and empathize with the other person so I can better relate and understand them from their point of view and therefore helping me to keep an open mind. I ponder on things prior to my responses in order to get the response from them that makes me be able to assist in a positive way and un-offensive way. (At least that’s my goal).
I have had some people in my life through the years try and tell me that I should feel a certain way or I should respond in a specific way that I would never normally do, and if I didn’t then if something bad was to have happened as a result to my not doing things their way, then it’s my fault.
For instance, recently I was instructed from one of my family members, (we’ll call them “A”) to tell another family member, (we’ll call them “B”) to cease from doing something that they had been doing for nearly their entire life. “A” said to me, “You need to ‘tell’ “B” to stop…” Then I was instructed that I was to lie to that same individual telling them that the doctor had instructed them to quit doing this specific task due to the potential harm it may cause. “A” said,” ‘Tell’ “B” the doctor said…” They insisted that if I refused to tell “B” and lie to “B”, something bad was definitely going to happen to “B”, thus if “B” dies it’s going to be my fault because I refused to demand them to cease from doing such task plus I refused to lie to them about the then made up doctor’s instructions. I told “A” that I was not going to tell a grown adult set in their ways what to do with their life. Plus I was surely not going to lie to them about it. “A” continued to try and coerce me, with failure of course, as I continued to speak calmly yet I kept my composure. I told “A” that I would talk to “B” but I would not try to enforce, demand, nor lie to them. So “A” continued to say, “So you’re not going to ‘tell’ them to quit? And you’re not going to ‘tell’ them the doctor said to stop? Well I guess you don’t care if they live or die!”, but before I could respond, (click) they hung up the phone.
I did discuss the topic with “B” briefly without getting them upset or trying not to step over the line as I brought up the topic, but they responded as I had anticipated by saying they are an adult and will do whatever, whenever they so choose and no matter what anyone else thinks or feels they will do as they please regardless. They went on to say they are responsible for their own actions and they’ve been doing it for years and don’t need a lecture from me or anyone else. (Therefore, relieving me of any guilt that was recently put on my shoulders that “A” informed me I would be responsible for).
Prior to my departure with “B” I mentioned that I merely brought the topic up out of my concern for their well being and was looking out for their best interest and wasn’t trying to be bossy or intrusive, I was simply attempting to bring to their attention the concern I had and for them. I then advised them to please take extra precautions and to possibly think of an alternative like asking me when in need, as something to ponder on. I also let them know I loved them and was here for them if they needed to talk or needed anything. At first “A” was upset but I made sure to leave them with a smile plus an alternative.
So did “A” change me? No, no they did not. It is not right for someone to come in to my life and try to change my mind, habits, try to coerce my thinking, or way of life. Thankfully I am headstrong and open-minded which enables me to read people to a point. Sometimes I just can’t read people because they are way out there in another dimension.
Everyone’s different in their line of thinking. Some are selfish others generous. Some are fascists others callous. Some are magnanimous others dangerous. “To each their own”, is a saying I always keep in mind. We all have our own ways of thinking and doing things. We do not necessarily all agree with the decisions of all those around us, but it’s not up to one individual to make decisions for the world.
I certainly do not need a dictator trying to guilt me into thinking, feeling, or doing things against my beliefs as I have a mind of my own. I am an independent minded individual with my own thoughts.
Know this, I only try to help never to harm. I always look after everyone’s best interests, not their flaws. I offer assistance not interference. I try to be kind but I’m not blind!
I like to think that I can make a difference in assisting people and making them smile. It’s difficult to be happy when you’re surrounded by negativity and heartache.
It’s difficult to be happy around pain and discomfort but misery loves company. That is intended for those that are hurting and wanting others to feel their pain by feeling emotionally drained along with them which is a selfish act.
When I’m in pain I want my husband to console me and be there to assist me in my time of need. He usually is, bringing up my spirits not to mention my pillows, medications, meals, and ice cream…hehe. He is my supportive lifeline and the other side of my smile. He often reminds me to smile that even though I may be ill 90% of the time, that life is as beautiful as I and my smile.
I love to be happy therefore enjoy being around people that are positive and have a good outlook on life not those that try and make me feel that the life I have is depressing or the decisions I make are bad because they don’t agree with theirs.
I am who I am. You either accept me for who I am or find another person to hang around with because I am not a punching bag and I am not a dry erase board. You can not abuse me and you can not change me!
I hope that I can make a difference in someone else’s life by letting them see that they are who they are and just because someone doesn’t accept you or the decisions you make doesn’t mean you’re a bad person and it doesn’t mean that blame is on your shoulders just because someone else makes a bad decision that you have no control over.
I am who I am! You are who you are!
Peace and love my friends!
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