I AM WHO I AM

redrose66 / July 8, 2015 / Family / Encouragement

 I am a mother of three beautiful children of whom I am very proud to share wonderful memories with and a step-mother of two shy children I rarely get the opportunity to share many memories with but remain hopeful.

 I am a Free-lance writer who has yet to publish a single book as of today but have ambition and patience to anticipate the proper opportunity to precede success in the near future. (hehe)

 I love my blog because it allows me the opportunity to write whatever I so choose and have no limitations yet feel free to be able to express myself and get some things out there for others to read so they can see that they’re not alone in the world and there are other people with the same issues and therefore there are solutions and positive outcomes available to each and every incident as long as you have a breath to breathe.

 I love children and enjoy spending time with my grandchildren as well as my great-nieces and nephews, when time allots, as we create crafts and laughs together.

 I enjoy making people laugh and seeing the joy in the eyes of all individuals I encounter whether they are geriatrics, middle aged, teenagers, school aged, toddlers, or babies I make no discrimination’s and that includes gender, race, and/or religion. I look at people as individuals and try to see where I can help. If I am unable to help I at least try to leave them with something positive to ponder on or say something silly to leave them with a smile on their faces.

 I have been known as the ‘life of the party’ when I arrive because I am very outgoing and a bit goofy with the way I express myself. I am sometimes a naughty joke teller and I can pop a shot or two and hold my own if you catch my drift.

 I have the type of personality that normally blends with others possibly due to the fact that I am one that listens first to try to get a better understanding of the other person prior to my immediate response plus I choose my words carefully as not to upset or step on someone’s toes. I often aim to please to try and comfort and empathize with the other person so I can better relate and understand them from their point of view and therefore helping me to keep an open mind. I ponder on things prior to my responses in order to get the response from them that makes me be able to assist in a positive way and un-offensive way. (At least that’s my goal).

 I have had some people in my life through the years try and tell me that I should feel a certain way or I should respond in a  specific way that I would never normally do, and if I didn’t then if something bad was to have happened as a result to my not doing things their way, then it’s my fault.

 For instance, recently I was instructed from one of my family members, (we’ll call them “A”) to tell another family member, (we’ll call them “B”) to cease from doing something that they had been doing for nearly their entire life. “A” said to me, “You need to ‘tell’ “B” to stop…” Then I was instructed that I was to lie to that same individual telling them that the doctor had instructed them to quit doing this specific task due to the potential harm it may cause. “A” said,” ‘Tell’ “B” the doctor said…” They insisted that if I refused to tell “B” and lie to “B”, something bad was definitely going to happen to “B”, thus if  “B” dies it’s going to be my fault because I refused to demand them to cease from doing such task plus I refused to lie to them about the then made up doctor’s instructions. I told “A” that I was not going to tell a grown adult set in their ways what to do with their life. Plus I was surely not going to lie to them about it. “A” continued to try and coerce me, with failure of course, as I continued to speak calmly yet I kept my composure. I told “A” that I would talk to “B” but I would not try to enforce, demand, nor lie to them. So “A” continued to say, “So you’re not going to ‘tell’ them to quit? And you’re not going to ‘tell’ them the doctor said to stop? Well I guess you don’t care if they live or die!”, but before I could respond, (click) they hung up the phone.

 I did discuss the topic with “B” briefly without getting them upset or trying not to step over the line as I brought up the topic, but they responded as I had anticipated by saying they are an adult and will do whatever, whenever they so choose and no matter what anyone else thinks or feels they will do as they please regardless. They went on to say they are responsible for their own actions and they’ve been doing it for years and don’t need a lecture from me or anyone else. (Therefore, relieving me of any guilt that was recently put on my shoulders that “A” informed me I would be responsible for).

 Prior to my departure with “B” I mentioned that I merely brought the topic up out of my concern for their well being and was looking out for their best interest and wasn’t trying to be bossy or intrusive, I was simply attempting to bring to their attention the concern I had and for them. I then advised them to please take extra precautions and to possibly think of an alternative like asking me when in need, as something to ponder on. I also let them know I loved them and was here for them if they needed to talk or needed anything. At first “A” was upset but I made sure to leave them with a smile plus an alternative.

  So did “A” change me? No, no they did not. It is not right for someone to come in to my life and try to change my mind, habits, try to coerce my thinking, or way of life. Thankfully I am headstrong and open-minded which enables me to read people to a point. Sometimes I just can’t read people because they are way out there in another dimension.

 Everyone’s different in their line of thinking. Some are selfish others generous. Some are fascists others callous. Some are magnanimous others dangerous. “To each their own”, is a saying I always keep in mind. We all have our own ways of thinking and doing things. We do not necessarily all agree with the decisions of all those around us, but it’s not up to one individual to make decisions for the world.

 I certainly do not need a dictator trying to guilt me into thinking, feeling, or doing things against my beliefs as I have a mind of my own. I am an independent minded individual with my own thoughts.

 Know this, I only try to help never to harm. I always look after everyone’s best interests, not their flaws. I offer assistance not interference. I try to be kind but I’m not blind!

 I like to think that I can make a difference in assisting people and making them smile. It’s difficult to be happy when you’re surrounded by negativity and heartache.

 It’s difficult to be happy around pain and discomfort but misery loves company. That is intended for those that are hurting and wanting others to feel their pain by feeling emotionally drained along with them which is a selfish act.

 When I’m in pain I want my husband to console me and be there to assist me in my time of need.  He usually is, bringing up my spirits not to mention my pillows, medications, meals, and ice cream…hehe. He is my supportive lifeline and the other side of my smile. He often reminds me to smile that even though I may be ill 90% of the time, that life is as beautiful as I and my smile.

 I love to be happy therefore enjoy being around people that are positive and have a good outlook on life not those that try and make me feel that the life I have is depressing or the decisions I make are bad because they don’t agree with theirs.

 I am who I am. You either accept me for who I am or find another person to hang around with because I am not a punching bag and I am not a dry erase board. You can not abuse me and you can not change me!

 I hope that I can make a difference in someone else’s life by letting them see that they are who they are and just because someone doesn’t accept you or the decisions you make doesn’t mean you’re a bad person and it doesn’t mean that blame is on your shoulders just because someone else makes a bad decision that you have no control over.

 I am who I am! You are who you are!

 Peace and love my friends!

Copyright © 2015 by Josephine Rojas. All rights reserved.

“P-PAW”?

redrose66 / July 7, 2015 / Just for Laughs / Family

Okay all you Grandfather’s out there, it’s time to take a stand and make a name for yourselves or else you will be marked for life, doomed to be called a made up name, an imaginary friend, or a strange letter of the alphabet with a bear claw’se!

It happens like this, you have your children and even though you expect they will grow up and have children of their own you and kind of assume that the little bears, your grandchildren will call you grandpa or gramps or maybe it never even crosses your mind, till one day when you go to a barber shop and the barber decides to tell you a little story on how he got his grandparent “title” or “name”.

It goes like this, as your sitting down getting your usual natural man’s haircut and nice clean shave with a straight razor from your usual Barber,  he suddenly asks you a bold question out of nowhere, “So, do you have grandchildren?” You respond, “Yes, why do you ask?” He responds with yet another question, “What do they call you?” You ponder on it for a moment and say, “Umm, I’m not really sure, I think they call me ‘Grandpa’..?”

Todd, the Barber continues to speak, “I have to say that if you don’t have a name already picked out, you had better pick it out before they do. You won’t have any say so once they have made up their minds and label you I guarantee that much!”

One day after not having set a name for myself as to what title I would have chosen for my grandchildren to call me, my grandson came over for a visit, he ran up to me after not having seen me in like a year saying, ‘Hi, P-Paw’! And I was absolutely flabbergasted. I looked at my daughter with awe wondering what foreign speech just escaped his lips, because last time I saw him he didn’t even know how to talk! Now he calls me a letter that we as a natural frequently do to release our bodily fluids then followed by an animal’s foot?” Can you imagine? I have the strangest name I’ve ever heard! So I’m titled, marked for eternity as a ‘P-Paw’” “Now don’t think I didn’t try to convince him to change that name to like ‘Grandpa’ or ‘Pops” but he just wouldn’t have it because his mind was made up and there was no way to sway him I assure you.”

Now this was an experience I felt the need to pass along to warn all you procrastinating soon to be grandparents in order that you have your title pre-set or you may be doomed to have a strange and unusual name that is not reversible.

So be prepared and enjoy your grandchildren.

 

This was dedicated to my husband and his Barber, Todd.

Copyright © 2015 by Josephine Rojas. All rights reserved.

 

Backyard / Outside Play

redrose66 / June 24, 2015 / Family/ Just for Fun

Things are very different then it was when I grew up in the late 60’s-80’s when children found the time to have backyard fun looking for new games to play.

       

Grandparents

redrose66 / June 23, 2015 / Family

 The stereotype grandparents are generally pictured as either elderly or in their late fifties early sixties and often even older, but that’s not always the case.

 Personally, I birthed my first child at the age of 17 and he fathered his first child at age of 24; therefore I became a Nana at the age of 42. So in considering this I still probably have a little more stamina than my mother did when she had me at the age of 27. Now at the age of 48 I have a total of three grandchildren, (and two step-grandchildren but they don’t know me).

 One thing I enjoy about being a grandparent is that the little bears look forward to seeing you after not having seen you in awhile and thus look for you when you’re not around.

Family Ransom

redrose66 / June 17, 2015 / Family

Sometimes I wish that people were able to read my thoughts. It would take a lot of stress off of my trying to hold them in or worry if I would be hurting their feelings because I would be like an open book where some would read me and enjoy my thoughts while others would steer clear knowing that they themselves are mean, resentful, hurtful, or just plain evil and that they have pushed my patience too far and released an untamed beast.

Sometimes It May Be Wise To Put Down All Electronic Devices: Kids Need To Feel Loved At All Ages!

redrose66 / June 14, 2015 / Family / Encouragement

 It seems that everywhere you look someone is busy with their heads down in their little own world, regardless of where you go whether you’re walking, driving, watching a movie, or playing / watching a sporting event even if you stop and look around at the shopping malls, stores, and even restaurants the majority of the people are texting, listening to music, checking their e-mails, looking at social networking site, playing an application, internetting, or doing some sort of research on their cell phones, tablets, laptops or other networking  internet device.

 But where are their children during these social gatherings? Who’s minding them? Are the children getting the full attention they deserve? Are they working their own devices or is the family being sociable, interacting, and enjoying one another’s company? Some parents feel that if they take the children to public places that it’s enough on their part, but the parents may not have a clue what the child really feels about certain things, or if he’s having an issue with someone /something, if they are having a misunderstanding about something, or if they need help because there’s a lack of communication.

 Even at home the children are expected to be playing in their rooms, watching TV, or playing video games. The connection between child and parent has missing links leaving the child with less of an emotional attachment to the parent due to that void that’s been created. Where’s the fun creativity between the parents and child? The special quality bonding? That undivided attention that parents expect when they want a child’s attention? Respect goes both ways.

 Sometimes you see the children on these devices. There may be nothing wrong with that. Yes they’re quiet and not disturbing the adults, but at what cost?  Are they on them for a half hour, an hour, all day? Are they being monitored? The way I see it children have become less active, they have less patience, they tend to become more aggressive to other children due to the lack of social skills that isn’t being exercised because their too focused on their gaming devices, and less respectful with a limited amount of mannerism. Some of the games appear to be innocent but in actuality become “time robbers” taking away any potential quality time that could be better spent on quality family time , projects, outside activities, reading, learning to write or draw, or just plain ole kid fun playing chase, tag, climbing trees, even gardening or riding bikes.

I was at the park with my great nephew a couple weeks ago and noticed that the majority of the parents were on their cell phones doing whatever on them while the kiddos were out on the play area unsupervised. Now I understand that need to keep up with the latest this and new that, but the kids are not getting that bonding 101 with the family to be able to connect like they did when I grew up. It seems sad really.

 Even though I may not have had the best childhood,  I do have some fond memories of things that we as a family unit did that nobody can take away from me. For instance, when we were very young we all sang together while our parents played their guitars.  We would go to drive-in theaters and I would eat popcorn and fall asleep on the roof of our old green station wagon. We went swimming on base,at the school pool, and at Parker Park. A few times we went camping at Lake Mathis for the weekend. We took trips to Mexico and went shopping in Reynosa where my mother learned her Mexican Grito (yodel)  As teenagers we played tennis with my father on the tennis courts at Parker Park. We even went to Astroworld in Houston with some dear friends.

 Since my children were little tykes, I have always set aside a designated time (regardless of my schedule) that I rarely steer from because I hold it as a treasured time that I hold dear to my heart and that is my Family Night. That’s the night my husband, me, and my children all get the opportunity to sit and share a meal with no electronic devices or distractions. Just enjoy each other’s company without judgment. In addition to Family Night, anytime my husband and I get the opportunity, considering our children are adults now, we try and take the time to either go pick up a  ingredients and prepare a meal for the kiddos, pick up ice cream stuff, go to the movies, karaoke, have a few drinks,  play mini golf,  play at the race track, watch a Hooks game, go to a theme park, or maybe even plan a small gathering with them like a barbecue at the house or card night. We make an extra attempt to do anything that we can just to get the chance to spend time together. Because to me my children are a blessing and I love them and want to be able to spend as much time as I possibly can with them because they are my main reason for living. Considering my children are all adults now and have busy schedules it is awesome and makes us feel grateful that they still take time out to share those moments with us. Our daughter takes the time in hers and her husband’s busy schedule to come to town and visit us quiet often as well as we go and visit them as often as we are able to.

 I extend this family not to just my immediate family but to my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, children, and grandchildren included. When we have social gatherings we try and include as many of them as we can when we can. Sometimes we all get together for breakfast at a convenient location near all of us, so we can all gather and share some laughs and enjoy spending time together. We would do it more often but each of us have our own families and lives thus preoccupying our time elsewhere. Everyone is busy these days so the time we do get together is precious. 

 I always enjoy spending time with the family as long as there is joy and laughter. Just wish that we could do some of the activities we used to do like playing cards, going to the beach, and sitting around for no other reason but just to spend time together. We have had some barbecues not too long ago, but recently time has been slipping away it seems. We will have to work on that.

 I feel this is what family is supposed to do, enjoy spending time together, helping each other in need (within reason), bonding, laughing, and having a great time just hanging out. I feel if more families spent less time taking for granted the kindness of others, spent more time taking responsibility for their own actions, less time judging each other, and more time loving each other everyone would get along with much more ease. Selfishness should never come between family members, and children should cherish their parents respecting them as should the parents return the favor, and never refrain or deny a parent  the chance to bond with their other children. There should not be barriers between children and parents and vise versa.

 Sometimes we just need to stop and see what’s right in front of us before it’s too late. Use your time wisely my friends and enjoy your children because there are no guarantees in life and we do not know what tomorrow will bring or take away till it does.

Copyright © 2015 by Josephine Rojas. All rights reserved.

What Is “Love” ?

redrose66 / June 9, 2015 / Poems

Love is Kindness 

Love is Sweet 

Love is Priceless 

Love is Deep 

Love is Righteous 

Love is GOD 

Love is Jesus 

Love is to Adhere 

Love is Honest 

Love is Tears 

Love is Agape 

Love is without Escape 

Love is Sincere 

Love is Happiness 

Love is Dear 

Love is Children 

Love is Laughter 

Love is Forever After!

 

Copyright © 2015 by Josephine Rojas. All rights reserved.

A Mommy’s Love- Justifiable Sacrifices

redrose66 / June1, 2015 / Family

A mommy’s love begins at conception and is everlasting. She makes the child while making the initial sacrifice of giving herself to the one she loves thus expressing that love through her feelings, emotions, and actions from that point on till the end of time,

Aunties

redrose66 / May 31, 2015 / True Life Event

 Aunties are the people that the nieces and nephews feel they can come to when they need nonjudgmental honest sound advice without repercussions, secrets that will be kept private, an open minded thought as well as an open heart, thoughts of wisdom, a place to hide or get away from for a short spell, an open door policy with (NSA) no strings attached, an occasional shoulder to cry on, or even for just a friend to bend an ear.

The Black Sheep

redrose66 / May 30. 2015 / Life Experiences

If you’ve never heard of a “Black Sheep” let me fill you in on the meaning behind the term but first picture a bouquet of roses, Normally when one receives a bouquet of roses ordinarily it’s one particular color of roses, generally their favorite color. Now picture there being a single rose of a different color in the mix, but one might find it odd and out of place almost as an obstacle. Few will find a uniqueness in it, but would question the reason behind the madness.

Well that’s kind of what a “Black Sheep” is in the world of people and relationships as well as family and friends and is defined as such: a member of a family or group who is regarded as a disgrace to them. And is referred as, “the black sheep of the family“. So the “Black Sheep” is as an obstacle or “standing out” type of individual that people tend to avoid or push aside as if their presence or being isn’t really worth anything, well until it is.

“Black Sheep” are usually not considered in most family functions such as barbecues, birthday parties, celebrations, family /social gatherings, dinner parties, or even considered for worthiness until they are needed to perform a specific purpose or can be useful as when they serve as a special necessity to a certain someone in need of their assistance or services that they are able to provide for that individual.

When the “Black Sheep” throws an event, a wedding, a celebration, a party, or a gathering even if any of these are for their own children, the rest of the family still avoids them always having a “legit” reason not to attend (unless the benefit is for them or their immediate family member). Some excuses include but not limited to:They’re sick but yet invite guests over, they already have a previous engagement, they forgot, they had no fuel for their vehicle, they don’t know where the place is located, they don’t drive at night, they’re going fishing, well the excuses are never ending. Yet the events are not attended by but a select few usually the immediate family of the ones doing the inviting and occasionally a niece or two.

Personally I feel that being a “Black Sheep” eliminates one from any commitments they would normally feel obligated to attend thus terminating an expectation that they weren’t even aware of in the first place, leaving them the opportunity not have to plan for or have to plan around any such event therefore eradicating them, freeing them to live their lives without restrictions or strings attached.

No expectations, well, that’s until their services are rendered by the Sheep Herders if you will and thus bellows them, either due to their own inability to perform certain tasks or duties whether by choice or by laziness, or maybe because they don’t feel the need to pay out the big bucks for a professional to do such endeavors.

Whatever the reason, the “Black Sheep” then has the ball in their court and therefore has the option to decide for themselves if the task presented before them is worth their efforts and if so enabling them to control the conditions in which the favor would take place giving them the upper hand and having the Herder at their beck and call for a short spell until the such assignment is complete.

So one must decide for themselves if being a “Black Sheep” is a downfall, a burden, or a blessing in disguise. Regardless of which way, to each his / her own. Life is full of flaws, deceptions, choices, and decisions and each individual has to decide their own fate sort of speak.

I hope this article was helpful and I’d love to hear your personal experiences on this topic. Feel free to share your story with me and other like readers.Thank You for taking the time to read this.

Copyright © 2015 by Josephine Rojas. All rights reserved.